Those were the words I had heard months ago. And when I let my lips softly form them I felt waves of a tingling presence in my body. I have been reminded of those words several times since then. I still don’t know what to make out of them or even if they are from God. If He does want to say something to me through them. Yes, I choose to believe that. And if it isn’t so He most certainly can turn that slip, that false conviction to achieve what He intended.
I believe that. Yes, I believe that it means that I have shut in so much inside of me. Things from my childhood that have left smelly piles of debris on my inside that have created unhealthy patterns and skewed views. A view of myself and others that is not the Truth. Yeah, who knows what truth really is? Does not everyone view things from a subjective perspective and refer to what we experience to be “truth”, our experience of reality?
But I know. I know in a way that cannot be described with words. Words do not seem to give justice to the reality that I am so fully convinced of having seen.
“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”
(1 Cor. 13:12, ESV)
But there are so many veils that attempt to cover up the breath-taking and extremly beautiful vision of Him – the King, servant of all. What a paradox of greatness in simple shoes.
Veiled eyes. Dim light. Blurry contours. Broken whole. To see reality through smudged glasses with skewed, distored lenses makes me not to see at all. But maybe you can see me more with your eyes closed…?
“Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin.”
(Proverbs 21:4, ESV)
So, if we are proud at heart our light is sin? Since sin means separation from “the Light of the world” it must implicate that when I see through proud eyes at myself, at others and at the reality (visible and invisible) it is not Truth I see. What I see is only what is illuminated by the lantern of sin and does not in a long-shot give justice to reality itself – Jesus Christ.
Editing this in at a later time:
Earlier tonight when I was talking to my wife, I got a picture of how we humans, in our sin (which in essence is separation from God) create our own box, a confined world, where we are king and ruler. Where everything is basically exist to satisfy our goals and objectives. We want to build our own kingdom. Our own Tower of Babel. Whether it is by worldly or religious accomplishments.
I am slowly beginning to see. Truth flowers are budding in my heart’s soil. The vermin is on the brink of extinction and the weeds are uprooted one by one. He tends to me so gently. Each shovelful and every gentle breath in me gives life not of this world.
I see Him. At least to some extent. The light seeps into darkened corners and He opens up, I let Him open. I open up to Him.
He breathes life into me. He is the Life in me. In us. We are one.
“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
(2 Cor. 3:18, ESV)
There is only one way to wake up and see reality itself. The way is open to anyone who wants to humble himself, put off his ruling crown and receive Him as King.
“But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit was hardened so that he dealt proudly, he was brought down from his kingly throne, and his glory was taken from him.”
(Daniel 5:20, ESV)
“Man is humbled, and each one is brought low, and the eyes of the haughty are brought low.”
(Isiah 5:15, ESV)
Maria sings to God’s glory:
“He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones
and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.”
(Luke 1:51-53, ESV)